Things not to eat

There are 3 main dangers lurking in the food pregnant women eat. They are:
• Listeria – a dangerous bacterium that can grow even in cold refrigerators.
• Mercury – a harmful metal found in high levels in some fish.
• Toxoplasma – a risky parasite found in undercooked meat and unwashed fruits and vegetables.
These things can cause serious illness or even death to you or your unborn baby.
Follow these food facts to help keep you and your baby healthy:
• DON’T eat raw or undercooked meat, poultry, fish or shellfish (sushi or sashimi).
• DON’T eat swordfish, tilefish, king mackerel, and shark.
• DON’T eat refrigerated smoked seafood like whitefish, salmon and mackerel. These products are usually labeled "Nova-style," lox, kippered or jerky.
• DON’T eat refrigerated pâtés or meat spreads.
• DON’T eat hot dogs and luncheon meats—unless they’re reheated until steaming hot.
• DON’T eat soft cheeses like feta, brie, camembert, "blue-veined cheeses," "queso blanco," "queso fresco," and Panela unless the label says they are pasteurized or made from pasteurized milk.
• DON’T drink raw or unpasteurized milk or eat foods that contain unpasteurized milk.
• DON’T eat unwashed fruits and vegetables.

Source: U.S. Food and Drug Administration; Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition

I am sick. I have flu symptoms which is not a good sign as I can't take any medications. I had a sore throat this morning, its better now. I have this strong craving to eat the berry chat I used to eat outside school. They are sour and salty. The street vendors made cones out of newspaper and had those small berries in them with salt. Oh man! I can't believe that I am actually remembering that. I had completely forgotten about it. I really want that. I am also craving to eat hot dal with pickle. Oh Gosh! I am at work right and my body is hurting and I am craving all these things.

I am happy because I feel like eating today not like yesterday and day before when I detested everything. Yesterday finally, I felt better from the gastric state I was in because of eating masala dosa from outside. I will never eat any other masala dosa other than my mom's masala dosa.

It has been raining since yesterday. I love rain, it brings back memories of my childhood, of romance, of sleeping cosily in bed till late afternoons. It reminds of the trinkling barks outside my NY apartment. Of the number of times, I just sat alone all by myself looking deep into those barks with the water trickling down the window. A synchronized moment of my tears falling with the rain fall. Those moments of solitude. Then those moments when we were together just sitting in our room doing nothing, but watching the rainfall. I miss those moments and I miss YOU more than anything.

I was remembering the torrential, unmerciful rains of Bombay. What a beautiful, lively place! Kids playing in the rain, making boats, catching fish from the gutter, sitting on the swing on my terrace and getting wet in the raining. Unforgetable days, days that are exceptional. Right now, I am trying to keep all thoughts at one side esp. those of what I am going to do for the future. It is kind of stupid of me to make plans because there is no guarantee that my plans will be fulfilled the way I want them to. Also, my dad used to say you clap with two hands not one. I have made God my other hand. So left everything to him, he will guide my boat which doesn't have any direction at this time.

That's all for today. Feel the fever in the joints of my fingers.

Pre-natal appointment

I went to the doctor as my blood work and ultrasound had come back. My thyroid was normal so she asked me to continue taking the same dosage. Now, I am going to take her advice and do it. However, my doctor in the States recommended to take 5 mcg more. I am taking Levoxyl 50mcg right now and my doctor in Canada told me to stick to that dosage.

My blood work showed an increase in my HCG from 38 on February 27 to 3700 on March 11 which confirms that my baby is growing. My ultrasound showed that my baby is in my uterus which is safe. She has sent me for a lot of blood work which includes Prenatal screening for Hep B, Rubella, Syphillis and HIV. She has also asked for testing Glucose, CBC and Urine Analysis. She also asked me to do an ultrasound after two weeks to check the baby's heart beat. Now, that it is confirmed that the baby is growing in the right place, the next imp. thing is to check if the baby is growing right and the heart beat is the first sign of growth.

Once again, I have anxiety about seeing the baby and most of all hearing my baby's heartbeat. What an amazing thing it is to have two hearts beating within you! My baby will be 1 cm long and will be growing 1 millimeter per day. Oh, I just can't wait to see my baby. And I have about 230 odd days still to go. I just pray each day.

I felt really sick last night, I ate food from outside and had an upset stomach again. I think I have to put a full stop to eating from outside. The problem is that I don't feel like packing food in the morning, I feel like throwing up and have this stone stuck in my oesophagus at the sight of food. Right now I smell the gyro leftovers on my desk and I am ready to take out all my anger on it. This morning I was in the elevator with two other people and I felt like jumping out of there. They smelled gross, I know I sound mean but thats how I felt. I don't want to eat anything. I am forcing myself to eat food. Also my need to drink water has increased tremendously.

A nutritional pregnancy diet needs you to drink milk three times a day. I have been able to gulp two glasses with a lot of difficulty - one in the morning with cereal and the other at night. The night milk routine does not do well with me. I am going to switch to evening time with my pre-natal vitamins. The changes in times of sleep and the patience I have to tolerate what's on TV have changed. I can't stand any chemical smell esp. bleach, detergent or any strong perfume. I smell it at once. Our body is so protective that it automatically wants to stay away from toxic smells. I wish everyone around me understood this because it is only something I would know.

Lastly, my husband is going to miss hearing our baby's heartbeat. I really need him at this time. These times don't come back. I wish he was here.

Feeling like crap...

This weekend on Sat I managed to sit to watch a 4 hour movie in theatre. The consequences of which I suffered on Sunday. I had the worst leg cramps from all the waking I did on Sat. in the mall looking for some good & cheap maternity clothes. Everything with the tag baby has a high price on it. I guess retailers want to make the best of my situation.

Anyways, Sunday was a terrible day for me. I was unable to get out of bed. I had all kinds of weird fears that were coming to life in my subconscious mind. I got up brushed and came back and went to sleep. I was actually very mad in my dream. I try to keep my thoughts clear, but I just can't. I try nothing to harm my baby even though he/she is as tiny as a pea right now. I can feel it. My lower stomach feels tighter. I don't feel comfortable sleeping on my belly or on my right. This sense of not hurting my baby is always in my mind.

I felt nausea the whole day today. I smelt the detergent in the washing machine althought I was no where near it. I smelt the keema alloo and hated it. I couldn't digest it well and felt like I was going to throw up any minute, but I controlled. I managed to get out of my sluggishness and go out to do some grocery. The bags felt heavy, the cart was difficult to manouvre and all I was thinking is where is my man, where is he. I am an independent girl but when it comes to something being wrong with me I need him and only him. In everything I went through, I asked myself where is he?

To my baby, I pray for you to have eyes like mine, lips like your dad, hairs like your dad, your mothers sensitivity and your fathers knowledge. I just want you to know that I met your dad through my poems and his poems, but you are the poem we both wrote together - the first one.

I have an ultrasound on Friday April 21, 2008. I can't wait for the 21st because the technician said that I should be able to see the baby's form. I still don't have my blood tests back, I am anxious about that too. I want to make sure my thyroid levels are normal and also the HCG is increasing. I am just keeping myself on top of things because I think my doctor is not.

I have been eating a lot of fibres like spinach, broccoli, bok choy, whole wheat breads which is probably the reason why I am having an upset stomach. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is run to the washroom. It gets pretty tiring for me in the morning. I am slower than usual in the mornings. I don't use make up like before. I have been hating work and keep telling my colleague that I want to go home. I miss my husband at times like this because I need that boost to keep myself up, but InshaAllah we will be together soon.

I also want to get over my final driving license because in a couple of months I am not going to be the same as I am now. I miss my dad a lot, he would be going crazy with joy and he would take care of me like a princess. I miss his presence. I really miss him.

How do I feel?

I am excited to have this pregnancy especially going through an ectopic pregnancy last year with the loss of one tube. I was also detected HypoThyroid after the surgery. When I tested for Thyroid my antibody level was very high. Although, hypothyroid is mostly hereditary. The main cause of my thyroid according to my instincts was mental stress. The pituitary gland sends signals the thyroid gland to release thyroid hormone. My brain from 2004 was so stressed that the pituitary gland just stopped telling the thyroid gland to function. My body created soldiers (antibodies) to fight the function of the thyroid gland. I feel that my pregnancy failed because of my hypothyroid condition and because of the stress I had in my life.

It has been a year since I started taking my thyroid medication and it has taken a year for me to have normal results. I personally feel that my living style changed in the last year and I had left my stress behind. This baby means the world to me. I am sharing my experiences and details of my medical condition - one to help everyone know that your baby deserves a healthy life and stress will never make that happen and second always follow your instincts.

Right now, I just feel like eating and sleeping early. I also wake up fresh and on time. I can also smell everything very distinctly. I have no other symptoms as of now and I am hoping they don't arrive. It is said that people with Hypothyroidism feel better than before when they are pregnant.

A good book to read is Mary Shomon's, "Living Well with Hypothyroidism".

How did I first know?

My husband left Toronto on February 18, 2008 and for some reason I kept thinking it was the first day of my period and I had not had it that day. Then I went online and checked my dates and it was actually February 22, 2008. I was anxious since the 18th that there was some chemistry working down there in my belly. I just kept thinking I am pregnant, I knew something was going to come up. My last period was on Jan. 18th 2008 and I have never missed a period. I waited two days and thought may be my period is late. I called my husband and let him know and he said right away, "You are pregnant!" I had to see it. I slept that night and had a dream in the wee hours of morning. I could see a pregnancy test with a big plus sign, I got up immediately ran to the washroom to check the pregnancy test. I waited for 2 minutes as prescribed and I saw a faint plus sign on it. I was jumping with joy. I called my sister and asked her to check if she can see it too. She saw it. I called my mom and she came with her glasses on and she said, " I can't see anything." I went for the blood test on Feb. 27, 2008 which showed 38 hormone count. The doctor said that was too low and sent me for an ultrasound. I anxiously went for the ultrasound on February 29, 2008 and the tech. could not see anything. She said it may be too early, but the lining is thick and the environment is good for getting pregnant. I was still happy that I was pregnant and kept my heart strong, prayed for the baby to grow. I went for an ultrasound again on March 10, 2008, I saw the gestational sack which was in my uterus and not extra-vaginal. It was a relief for me. I am still waiting on my blood test and hope that the count is increasing. It is a good sign that the baby is growing properly. The tech said that I am 5 weeks pregnant. This is what my baby looks like right now.

http://www.3dpregnancy.com/calendar/5-weeks-pregnant.html