This weekend on Sat I managed to sit to watch a 4 hour movie in theatre. The consequences of which I suffered on Sunday. I had the worst leg cramps from all the waking I did on Sat. in the mall looking for some good & cheap maternity clothes. Everything with the tag baby has a high price on it. I guess retailers want to make the best of my situation.
Anyways, Sunday was a terrible day for me. I was unable to get out of bed. I had all kinds of weird fears that were coming to life in my subconscious mind. I got up brushed and came back and went to sleep. I was actually very mad in my dream. I try to keep my thoughts clear, but I just can't. I try nothing to harm my baby even though he/she is as tiny as a pea right now. I can feel it. My lower stomach feels tighter. I don't feel comfortable sleeping on my belly or on my right. This sense of not hurting my baby is always in my mind.
I felt nausea the whole day today. I smelt the detergent in the washing machine althought I was no where near it. I smelt the keema alloo and hated it. I couldn't digest it well and felt like I was going to throw up any minute, but I controlled. I managed to get out of my sluggishness and go out to do some grocery. The bags felt heavy, the cart was difficult to manouvre and all I was thinking is where is my man, where is he. I am an independent girl but when it comes to something being wrong with me I need him and only him. In everything I went through, I asked myself where is he?
To my baby, I pray for you to have eyes like mine, lips like your dad, hairs like your dad, your mothers sensitivity and your fathers knowledge. I just want you to know that I met your dad through my poems and his poems, but you are the poem we both wrote together - the first one.
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